Where have I gone?

Some of you may be wondering where I’ve been.  Some of you may not give a damn. If you fall into the latter category, you aren’t reading this anyway.

I deactivated my Obesity Help account. It just wasn’t doing me any good anymore. The forums were filled with overwhelming negativity more often than not and God forbid you post something that isn’t in 100% agreement or praising the forum ‘darlings’ (and no, I’m not going to point fingers and name names. If what I’ve said here offends or upsets you, my apologies but don’t assume I’m talking about you.) Most of the crap I could ignore but, as my block list grew and grew, I realized just how much all of it was affecting me.

As I sat down to write a bitchy response to a couple people (one of whom I honestly felt was attacking me for questioning the motivation behind a post bashing a certain blogger), I made myself stop. Why was I doing that? Seriously? I realized at that moment just how much the negativity had truly affected me. I was starting to be filled with negativity, too and it was really affecting the way I posted and the responses I made.

Most of you guys who know me know that’s not me. I’ve held virtual hands on that forum. I’ve wiped virtual tears. I’ve given virtual hugs. I’ve even received the same in return but, it all feels different now. I no longer saw the site as a place of encouragement and inspiration. It was dragging me down.

So I left. It was the easiest thing to do. I knew if I didn’t make a clean break, I’d keep going back and keep getting frustrated. Sometimes, you know, you just have to get a divorce.  In the meantime, I’ve been hanging out with the Bariatric Bad Girls (and guys) on Facebook. It’s an interesting group of folks. Lots of real talk that might be off putting to some but it’s certainly more in keeping with my own personality. I feel like I can be ME again. Something I haven’t felt like I could do on Obesity Help for many months.

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16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Brenda Lu
    May 10, 2011 @ 15:38:21

    I’m sorry how things worked out. More and more people are leaving OH. I haven’t noticed what a lot of people are talking about. Haven’t seen anyone being “ugly” but I’m sure it happens. Hope you find great support on fb and other support places and if you ever need support from me, I will send a virtual hug or advice if I have any. I follow your blog and enjoy the info on it. Take care!

    Reply

    • Jeanette
      May 11, 2011 @ 16:21:58

      A lot of people I really liked disappeared, too. Some of them started their surgical journey around the same time I did, had surgery around the same time, and they’re gone. Some old timers hang in there, some of whom I really do like, but I think I made the right choice here.

      Reply

  2. Kate
    May 10, 2011 @ 16:21:08

    That place just has bad vibes. I always feel down after I go there. There’s just some mean spirited people over there. 😦

    I’m glad you got out — I don’t want anybody bringing you down, I need you upbeat and happy so I can rely on you!

    Reply

  3. Kate
    May 10, 2011 @ 17:03:34

    BTW — I like the new template! Your blog now looks very welcoming, bright and cheery. 🙂

    Reply

  4. Michelle (VSGMOM.COM)
    May 10, 2011 @ 17:45:05

    Sadly, I feel the same way. I have not visited OH often post op. I have found comfort and my voice with in this community with the BBGC. If a realistic view is frowned upon, than frown damn it. I will not be a part of sugar coating, WLS selling, rainbow pooping stepford bariatrics.

    M

    Reply

    • Jeanette
      May 11, 2011 @ 16:20:03

      I’m with you. There are a couple of posters on OH I really liked and reading their posts was always great but, it’s not worth the general stress. And, hey, if you want something sugar coated, eat a donut. I’m not going to do it. I’ll pat your back when you’re celebrating an accomplishment. I’ll offer a hand up if you’ve fallen. I’ll give you a virtual hug when you need it. I won’t sugar coat anything. I think some people mistake being honest with being rude.

      I once responded to a post about protein shots. I responded with FACTS, showed the original poster that they weren’t a good source of protein (I included links and everything, LOL) and said I would not waste my money on them. Someone else came in and accused me of being ‘negative’. It was ridiculous.

      Reply

  5. Angel Austin
    May 11, 2011 @ 12:57:51

    Thanks for posting. I totally understand how you feel. Sometimes, you gotta shake the dust from your feet and keep it moving. I’m glad you’re feeling more like yourself. I did miss you.

    Reply

  6. Tina (TinkerToot)
    May 11, 2011 @ 13:35:30

    I’m sorry to hear you deactivated your OH! You were always an inspiration to me and I loved reading your post.
    Can I ask who was it that was causing you the stress? I would like to know and stay away from them……
    On a different note, how are you doing? Are you still going to school? How is weight loss going?
    Please keep in touch with me. I still love hearing from you!
    {hugs} Tina

    Reply

    • Jeanette
      May 11, 2011 @ 16:09:52

      Hi Tina. I haven’t started school yet. I’m aiming for the fall. My weight loss has been stalled for the past two months but, I’m hanging in there because it’s not going up. LOL. Stalls happen, you just gotta roll with the flow. As for who to avoid, I’d rather not name names. It’s unnecessary drama I’d rather avoid. I hope you understand *hugs* Keep coming around.

      Reply

  7. Waning Woman
    May 11, 2011 @ 13:51:17

    I was actually wondering where you were! I’m glad to see you back around these parts.

    I totally get what you’re saying about OH. There are so many judgmental people over there and its all groupthink. No thank you. I drop in from time to time to wish people luck on surgeries, but that’s enough for me.

    Reply

  8. BlackBerry Mama
    Aug 03, 2011 @ 01:43:23

    Actually, I found that even when I couldn’t get the type of support I needed from my local online support groups, I easily found it in BBGC. I don’t always post there either, but ever since I got sick with malnutrition, and fought my way back, the group there, WITHOUT judgment, have coached me, cheered me, and supported me via blog readership & encouraging tweets. Love it. Hope it stays that way.

    Reply

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